Dubicki's, by Lisa Andes

Dubicki's - Lisa Andres

I'm not even sure it's fair to rate this as a real book since it's obviously a creative writing assignment from one of those evening classes they hold in the basement of a church or the local YMCA, right? 

 

There was just SO much wrong with this. It's probably easier if I just bullet point the highlights. 

 

- the first chapter was, I guess, a lesson in real estate and the state of the market for the last few years

 

- random brand name-dropping

 

- cliche characters (Kelsey didn't wear makeup and always put her hair in a ponytail. She had a quiet beauty and had no idea how stunning she really was. blech.)

 

- basically insta-love

 

- I seriously suspect all of the characters were at least a little bipolar, because the swings in their personalities were just not normal. 

 

- the most god-awkward dialogue I may have ever heard. If you are having a conversation with someone, you don't repeat their name at the end of every sentence. They know you are talking to them!

 

- no character development. at all. 

 

- did I mention the awkward, unnatural dialogue? It bears repeating. 

 

- Jason constantly referred to the "current cougar" he was f-ing. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 - should I even mention the fact that Jason showed up at Kelsey's house one day. She did not tell him where she lived and the last time she had seen him, she was escaping from him at his office. And how does she react to this textbook example of stalking? "Hi yourself." Are you fucking kidding me? ARGH. 

 

- no character development. (I know I'm repeating myself again, but I really just cannot stress these things enough)

 

- and I'll just finish my mini-rant with the epilogue. The moral of this little story: It's okay to forget to practice safe sex and accidentally get pregnant, because you're prince charming will marry you and you'll live happily ever after.